Blank Check - February 11, 1994

Blank Check

Tagline(s): Quick thinking landed him a million bucks... now everybody's after it!

Released: February 11, 1994

Studio: Walt Disney Pictures

Genre: Comedy

Directed by Rupert Wainwright

Stars: Brian Bonsall, Karen Duffy, Miguel Ferrer, James Rebhorn, Tone Lōc, Jayne Atkinson, Michael Lerner

Rotten Tomatoes: 9%

Metacritic: Not rated.

Budget: $13 million

Box Office: $30.5 million

Synopsis

Preston is involved in an accident and his bike is crushed. Given a blank cheque by a gangster, Preston takes it to the bank cashing it for $1 million and he soon starts spending but then guess who wants their money back?

Recollections

This was another of my childhood favourites which I undoubtedly uncritically observed and maybe shouldn't have revisited. 

Review

This is one of those films as a means of wish-fulfillment. A child obsessed with money is given, or rather takes, more money than he can ever imagine and suddenly the world is his oyster whereas before his financial situation just brought up a series of barriers. In that way it follows in the footsteps of films like Big and Brewster's Millions. But, what does Preston do with his new found fortune? He accumulates a bunch of stuff and buys new friends but I didn't buy into any real joy as Preston slides down his water-slide or rides his go-karts around his new castle. Which is where this film has nothing on either of the other titles of this genre.

Problematic is also the morality of Preston's actions. He is given a blank cheque from the main protagonist for crushing his bike and instead of the appropriate amount, he takes the cheque to the bank cashing it for $1 million. He may be stealing from a thief but he's still stealing by committing massive cheque fraud and there are no consequence for this. The kid also, by the end of the film, learns that $1 million is not actually a lot of money and his debts soon mount when a lavish birthday party is thrown. Preston in effect secures goods and services based on a deception that he would pay for it when in fact he did not have the money. Again there are no consequences for Preston.

I seem to see everything through the lens of Groundhog Day. We've already seen Brian Doyle-Murray who played Buster Green in Cabin Boy. In My Father the Hero we saw Stephen Tobolowsky (bing!) and in Blank Check we see Rick Ducommun who played the drunken vet Gus in Groundhog Day. I say this for no other reason than the joy of recognizing actors out of the roles you know them for.

Also worth pointing out here that this is Disney's second live action film of 1994, together accumulating roughly $50 million in sales. Given the return they get from Lion King which is yet to be released, it's no surprise that they are remembered more for their animated output from this era.

My Father the Hero - February 4, 1994

My Father the Hero

Tagline(s): Fathers have just one problem raising daughters. They grow up.

Released: February 4, 1994

Studio: Touchstone Pictures

Genre: Comedy

Directed by Steve Miner

Stars: Gérard Depardieu, Katherine Heigl, Dalton James, Lauren Hutton, Faith Prince, Stephen Tobolowsky

Rotten Tomatoes: 14%

Metacritic: Not rated.

Budget: Unknown

Box Office: $25.4 million

Synopsis

Gérard Depardieu stars in the US remake of the 1991 French comedy 'Mon Pere, Ce Heros'. where he also played the lead role. Here he plays André Arnel, a divorced French father taking his American daughter Nicole, played by 14 year old Katherine Heigl, on a summer vacation in the Bahamas. Nicole soon meets a boy and tells him that her father is actually her lover. Word soon gets around and hilarity ensues.

Recollections

I remember loving this movie as a kid, of course completely oblivious to the thematic issues. I was also a big fan of Gérard Depardieu at the time, having already seen him in Cyrano de Bergerac and Green Card.

Review

This undoubtedly an odd movie and one that would never get made today. Its attitude is somewhat hypocritical. There's undoubted revulsion portrayed that a character of Depardieu's age would be dating a 14 year old and throughout the movie the character is shunned. But then there's also a long, lingering shot of Katherine Heigl's derrière in a thong which reveals the director's leering gaze to be equally troublesome.

It is a film in the traditional french farce set-up and there are some entertaining set-pieces with Depardieu on water-skis and then a rendition of Jacques Brel's 'Thank Heavens for Little Girls'. There are some plot holes the size of planets and some of the comic performances fall flat but, maybe because of my prior enjoyment of the film, or maybe because Depardieu is such a charismatic presence, I still had a reasonable enjoyment from my viewing.

I'll Do Anything - February 4, 1994

I'll Do Anything

Tagline(s): She's the most maddening female he's ever met. And she's only 6 years old.


Released: February 4, 1994
Studio: Columbia Pictures

Genre: Drama, Comedy

Directed by James L. Brooks
Stars: Nick Nolte, Albert Brooks, Julie Kavner, Whittni Wright, Joely Richardson, Tracey Ullman

Rotten Tomatoes: 61%
Metacritic: Not rated.

Budget: $40 million

Box Office: $10 million

Synopsis

Nick Nolte is Matt Hobbs, an acting struggling to get that next role. When his ex-wife is headed for jail he is forced to take on his precocious and somewhat obnoxious daughter Jeannie. Relationships also form with Hollywood insiders as Hobbs begins to understand how movies really are made.

Recollections

None

Review

This is the first of three Nick Nolte movies of 1994 and it goes to remind you how much a charismatic screen presence he was before he moved into his latter, grumbling, mumbling, Tom Waits period. He definitely operates at a shouty register, as we'll see even more in evidence in Blue Chips.

I think the idea here was the contrast of big bear Nolte with little kid as the poster heavily implies but really that's a sidenote to the film and really one of a number of subplots. Instead the focus of this film is the process of getting films made and the cynical people involved developing and casting movies. The box office return here goes to show that this kind of Hollywood insider story has limited audience appeal, even if the critics took to it more.

There's a huge Simpsons connection here with James L Brooks as director who also a writer  and producer on the Simpsons. There's also Julie Kavner who voices Marge and then Tracey Ullman upon whose show the Simpsons' shorts were first broadcast.

All in all the many strands of this film don't quite connect and the central story isn't quite interesting enough to justify its existence with only Nick Nolte rescuing it from being a complete dud.

Car 54, Where Are You? - January 28, 1994

Car 54, Where Are You? 

Tagline(s): 

Released: January 28, 1994

Studio: Orion Pictures

Genre: Comedy

Directed by Bill Fishman

Stars: David Johansen, John C. McGinley, Rosie O'Donnell, Fran Drescher, Nipsey Russell, Jeremy Piven

Rotten Tomatoes: 0%

Metacritic: Not rated

Budget: $10.7 million

Box Office: $1.2 million

Synopsis

Based on the 1960s TV show, bungling police officers Gunther Toody and  Francis Muldoon are tasked with protecting Jeremy Piven's Herbert Hortz from the mob.

Recollections

None

Review

So this is a blog about how great the movies are from 1994 and we already have our second 0% Rotten Tomatoes score. It's important to remember that January is something of a Hollywood dumping ground following the award's season frenzy that happen towards the end of the year so this shouldn't be too much of a surprise. I promise you there is better to come, some stinkers too but nothing much worse than this.

Two facts about this film go some way to explaining quite how bad this is. Firstly it was originally conceived and recorded as a musical and most of the songs were cut prior to its release. Secondly it was recorded in 1990 but not released until 1994; clearly the studio had no idea what to do with the film but had spent too much money on it not to release it. They certainly did not make their money back.

If you have ever watched Scrooged and wondered what a full movie with David Johansen's Ghost of Christmas Past would sound like, unfortunately this is it. That's not to say that his performance is specifically the problem here, although his crackly voice does start to grate over time.

There are some terrible performances, most notably from Rosie O'Donnell and Jeremy Piven but mostly the film suffers from not knowing what it wants to be as it stumbles from one set piece to another with all jokes falling flat.

It's hard to imagine the musical numbers would have made the film much better and Jeremy Piven's rap song early in the movie probably indicates they were wise to cut the rest out.

There is only one reason to seek out this movie and it would be a morbid curiosity to seek out the worst movies made by man. 

House Party 3 - January 14, 1994

House Party 3

Tagline(s): This bachelor party's gonna' bring down the house!

Released: January 14, 1994
Studio: Touchstone Pictures

Genre: Comedy

Directed by Eric Meza
Stars: Kid 'n Play, Bernie Mac, Gilbert Gottfried, TLC, Angela Means, Immature, Michael Colyar and Tisha Campbell

Rotten Tomatoes: 0%
Metacritic: Not rated

Budget: Unknown
Box Office: $19.2 million

Synopsis

Kid is getting married and Play is going to throw a bachelor party...in a house...it's another house party.

Recollections

I was exposed to Kid 'n' Play thanks to my brother. The original house party and 1992's role reversal film Class Act stick in my memory. This one, thankfully, had passed me by, until now.

Review

I could spend time talking about the horrific misogyny, fat shaming, poor plot, plodding direction. I could talk about the fact that Kid 'n' Play seemed unable to mime the lyrics to their own song in the final act. However it would not be worth your time to read it nor mine to write it. If this film is notable for anything it is as the unfortunate first role for Chris Tucker, albeit in a cameo.

Just don't bother watching this dross.

Cabin Boy - January 7, 1994

Cabin Boy

Tagline(s): He's Setting Sail On The High Seas... Without A Rudder, A Compass, Or A Clue!

Released: January 7, 1994
Studio: Touchstone Pictures

Genre: Comedy, Fantasy

Directed by Adam Resnick 
Stars: Chris Elliott, Ritch Brinkley, Brian Doyle-Murray, James Gammon, Brion James, Melora Walters and Jim Cummings

Rotten Tomatoes: 46%
Metacritic: 21%

Budget: $10 million
Box Office: $3.7 million

Synopsis

Chris Elliott plays Nathaniel Mayweather, a foppish, unlikable, unpleasant, nitwit. Graduating from finishing school and on course to becoming a "fancy lad", he is scheduled to take the luxury liner Queen Catherine to Hawaii to meet up with his father however misfortune and misdirection strike and he ends up aboard a fishing scow named "The Filthy Whore" with a crew befitting its salty name, and of course misadventure follows.

Recollections

None

Review

If you know Chris Elliott it's likely as the unpleasant camera man in Groundhog Day and from the start of the movie you wonder if he's really the actor to be leading a movie like this. The cast is full of actors likely better known for more minor parts in bigger movies. It seems that Tim Burton was originally attached to direct this and he probably saved his career by turning his attentions to Ed Wood (more of which later as it's another 1994 film),  Adam Resnick was shoehorned into the job late in the day and the experience of making this film ultimately led to him not directing again.

The movie is a parody of the types of fantasy adventure movies very prominent in the eighties and nineties and this movie likely failed at the time for being a little ahead of the curve. Similar parody movies did exist but this film would have found a bigger audience in the 2000s. 

It's a strange little film, don't get me wrong, and the plot is a little meandering. But you can also feel the genesis of a new kind of comedy here and it deserves some credit for trying something new, even if they did not fully succeed at it. This is a cult film without its cult to follow it.

The Air up There - January 7, 1994

The Air Up There

Tagline(s): Jimmy Dolan went to recruit a new player. What he found was a whole new ballgame.

Released: January 7, 1994
Studio: Hollywood Pictures / Interscope Communications

Genre: Comedy, Sports

Directed by Paul Michael Glaser
Stars: Kevin Bacon, Charles Gitonga Maina and Yolanda Vazquez

Rotten Tomatoes: 28%
Metacritic: Not rated

Budget: $17 million
Box Office: $21 million

Synopsis

Kevin Bacon plays Jimmy Dolan, a college basketball assistant coach, aiming to seek advancement to head coach by recruiting the next big basketball star for his college. A chance viewing in the background of a video by a catholic missionary, shows him footage of Saleh, played by Charles Gitonga Maina, and Dolan heads off to Africa to secure his quarry and of course, to learn something about himself along the way.

Recollections

None

Review

The poster belies the problems with this movie with its mixture of white saviour and cultural imperialist motifs. Kevin Bacon gives a note-perfect Kevin Bacon performance and is his typically charming-self. The support cast are capable, with a shout-out to Mabutho 'Kid' Sithole in a charismatic role as Nyaga.

Director Paul Michael Glaser is better known for his role as Starsky in Starsky and Hutch and his directorial output has been decidedly average, having also directed Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Running Man.

You know exactly what's going to happen in a movie like this and the director capably fits the pieces together and makes a coherent movie but it is so tone-deaf to the broader implications of its theme that it makes for uncomfortable viewing.