Car 54, Where Are You? - January 28, 1994

Car 54, Where Are You? 

Tagline(s): 

Released: January 28, 1994

Studio: Orion Pictures

Genre: Comedy

Directed by Bill Fishman

Stars: David Johansen, John C. McGinley, Rosie O'Donnell, Fran Drescher, Nipsey Russell, Jeremy Piven

Rotten Tomatoes: 0%

Metacritic: Not rated

Budget: $10.7 million

Box Office: $1.2 million

Synopsis

Based on the 1960s TV show, bungling police officers Gunther Toody and  Francis Muldoon are tasked with protecting Jeremy Piven's Herbert Hortz from the mob.

Recollections

None

Review

So this is a blog about how great the movies are from 1994 and we already have our second 0% Rotten Tomatoes score. It's important to remember that January is something of a Hollywood dumping ground following the award's season frenzy that happen towards the end of the year so this shouldn't be too much of a surprise. I promise you there is better to come, some stinkers too but nothing much worse than this.

Two facts about this film go some way to explaining quite how bad this is. Firstly it was originally conceived and recorded as a musical and most of the songs were cut prior to its release. Secondly it was recorded in 1990 but not released until 1994; clearly the studio had no idea what to do with the film but had spent too much money on it not to release it. They certainly did not make their money back.

If you have ever watched Scrooged and wondered what a full movie with David Johansen's Ghost of Christmas Past would sound like, unfortunately this is it. That's not to say that his performance is specifically the problem here, although his crackly voice does start to grate over time.

There are some terrible performances, most notably from Rosie O'Donnell and Jeremy Piven but mostly the film suffers from not knowing what it wants to be as it stumbles from one set piece to another with all jokes falling flat.

It's hard to imagine the musical numbers would have made the film much better and Jeremy Piven's rap song early in the movie probably indicates they were wise to cut the rest out.

There is only one reason to seek out this movie and it would be a morbid curiosity to seek out the worst movies made by man.